HOW COMPARTMENTALIZING BROKE MY BRAIN (AND HOW COHERENCE PUT IT BACK TOGETHER)
The evolution of how I work—and what it taught me about building sustainable systems.
Over the weekend, a friend pitched me a business idea. My first reaction? Build walls, shout about boundaries, and warn of the dangers of working with friends.
Then I paused. Reflected. And realised how much my approach to work—and life—has shifted over fifteen years, especially in the last twelve months.
This essay is about trusting yourself again—your instincts, your energy, and your internal compass.
COMPARTMENTALIZING: THE OLD SURVIVAL MODE
I used to confuse compartmentalizing with healthy boundaries.
Chief of Staff at a $10M social service organisation
Six direct reports, 2,000 clients, sprawling programs
Work mattered deeply, but was relentless
I was exposed to vicarious trauma: the emotional residue of other people’s pain. To cope, I built neat mental boxes:
Client stories I couldn’t shake
Board politics misaligned with my values
Quiet realisation that the CEO title felt like a trap
At work, I stayed composed. At home, I tried to be present. On weekends, I decompressed. By Sunday night, I dreaded Monday. Compartmentalising felt like survival—but “balance” was a lie.
SWINGING TO THE OTHER EXTREME
When I left nonprofit work:
Launched an apparel brand
Shared my story, face, and life in marketing campaigns
Lived online, documenting everything
Later, as a fractional COO, life and work merged completely:
Clients were friends
Friends were clients
Boundaries? Nonexistent
From overcompartmentalised to completely enmeshed—neither extreme worked.
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF COMPARTMENTALIZING
Compartmentalisation isn’t inherently bad—it’s a short-term coping mechanism.
Surgeons compartmentalise after losing a patient
Parents switch from tense calls to homework support
Managers suppress frustration to coach others
Research:
Short-term emotional regulation improves cognitive performance
Temporarily separating emotion from action helps recovery
Chronic compartmentalisation leads to: fatigue, cortisol spikes, creativity loss, empathy erosion, and cognitive fragmentation
In plain terms: the more energy spent holding it together, the less you have to think clearly or connect meaningfully. Over time, disconnection feels normal. Work quality drops. Anxiety grows. Compartmentalising becomes the default—and that’s no way to function.
A NEW WAY FORWARD: COHERENCE
Now, I operate through coherence:
One operating system for life and work
Same values and boundaries across all domains
Lessons, insights, and experiences flow between projects, clients, and writing
Coherence looks like:
Boundaries that make sense: selective sharing, capped billable hours, saying no when needed
Life and work integration that feels alive: ideas spark in the shower, at lunch, on a walk, without guilt
It’s softer lines, stronger foundation, and genuine excitement for work—not because it consumes me, but because it fits.
THE TAKEAWAY
Coherence isn’t just personal—it’s professional.
Aligned work sustains energy and creativity
Clarity becomes contagious: sharper systems, cleaner communication, faster decisions
For operations and leadership: coherence is a design principle
A coherent workplace includes:
Clear roles & autonomy – Measure outcomes, not hours; trust adults to manage time and process
Energy-aware planning – Design for focus and recovery; downtime fuels innovation
Flexible structures – Only enforce rigidity where necessary; flexibility should be default
Psychological safety – Trust enables people to show up as whole humans
Coherence makes meaningful work sustainable. Balance follows naturally, because work aligns with values and energy.
QUESTION
Q: How do I rest without guilt, even if I love my work?
A: Rest is the ultimate performance enhancer:
Cognitive research: peak deep-work capacity is 3–4 hours/day
Default Mode Network: daydreaming, walking, showering spark creativity
Off-switch = on-switch for insight
Stop trying to “turn off.” Design for recovery, guilt-free: walks, gardening, baking, doing nothing productive.
And about feeling “behind”? You’re not racing anyone. The timeline in your head? Made up.
💛 MA
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